*in a very tiny font*

The solution happened, we moved. Good for some, great for others and crap for me. However I am trying to keep it all together, what I thought would happen did not happen and I ended up making my amazing son really angry with me for leaving. Hindsight revelations 1. Jus tbecause I dont put any value on homes being buildings and not the people that live in them it does not mean that other people do not. 2. Should have waited. 3. I created what I wanted for my children and did not know that I had created it. A home they wanted to be in. because I did not understand this I screwed it up, good and proper. I am trying, through the upset, to repair what I have broken. Not easy when you have no power and no money. I have realised however where my hatred of being ignored comes from, something in my childhood, my mum told me she used to face my highchair to the wall, I assume I had done something she did not approve of, perhaps crying? and ignore me because I hated it and it was the only thing that *worked*. Any wonder Im such a head case? I feel like the worse mother in the world, obviously Im not, I have never faced my children to the wall and ignored them ha! but in giving them a voice and allowing them to say what and how they feel I have taken a lot of abusive stuff particularly from one of them, OUCH. On a happier note, 12 days until soldier no 1 is home from OP Herrick 16. On a sadder one, 2 months until soldier no 2 is off for Herrick 17. I am sinking a bit, would like to rant and rave here but that is not the way I wish to be. Being aware of stuff is hard, but I guess ignorance, whilst bliss for the beholder, is harder for those who are aware and on the periphery of it. Also, do ex spouses give everyone problems?