Someone I used to know cropped up fleetingly in my life again this year, and her mum has recently died. Her facebook post saying goodbye to her mum on the day of the funeral rocked my socks. Everything she said about her was true, as I remember her, brave, funny, great mum, things about the profession she chose and rose to the heights in, and how she was loved by her only daughter. WOW. Got me thinking, what do I want my children to be able to say about me when I die? How lucky am I that I have time NOW to be able to do things that they will hopefully remember, learn from, love about me or even maybe think I am a great mum when I am no longer around to do the mum things I can do now. I think I have a great relationship with them, the boys have told me so, it has been hard work but I hope I am winning.
The song 'The Best Day' by Taylor Swift is a beautiful song, written by her and inspired by some video footage she found of when she was a young child. It was written for her mum, about how much she loves and appreciates her and how she had 'the best day' with her. I love this, and the accompanying video is lovely. http://www.redbalcony.com/?vid=24888 it makes me cry every time. I only hope my children know how much I love them, even when they are wrong.
A good friend of mine has a daughter who is in her early twenties. She recently wrote and performed a song about her mum and then posted it on Facebook as a surprise for her......what a role model to me my friend is as a parent, I aspire to be like you as a mum Teresa.
I am acutely aware that I can't say I had the best mum, or the best time with her, or the best dad, conditional love is not really love at all. Love them? guess so, but what would I say about them when they are gone? I have absolutely no idea! I guess I find this a bit shocking! Sure they taught me things, I was looked after, but I never felt like I fitted in, still don't actually. There is such a lot of stuff in my head about this, but what I can do is hope that I am being a role model for my daughters, someone that they can know, really know, feel free to ask anything of, feel comfortable with, want to spend a bit of time with, share things with and generally when they are older be their friend. I do know they know I love them - my sons and daughters know that, thinking about it my son who is 19 told me a few months ago thta I am an awsome mum! that was nice, I want to be an awsome mum, but not only that, I really want them to think that I am the best mum they could wish for. Now that really would be something.
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